Mom of a Middle Schooler

My lovely daughter began her journey into middle school this year. I know this is how it works now - 6th grade is now part of middle school, or as we called it, junior high. I feel that 11 is pretty young to be in the mix with 7th and 8th graders, but we are taking it a day at a time.

I was initially concerned about the tales she would hear from other students. Now I can add teachers to the list. I learned, when my daughter was in 5th grade, that students will learn about reproduction in 6th grade, so I know we've got to have that talk pretty soon. I was not prepared that she would be learning so many life lessons in her history class. Earlier this week, Tessie (which is what I'll call her, since she recently played Tessie in a local production of Annie), shared with me that in her history class (Ancient Civilizations), they start each class by watching a video of current events. This particular day, the video was about the political parties and what each stands for. Tessie shared that as part of this video, they mentioned abortion. One student then raised his hand and asked what abortion was. The teacher shared that that is what it's called when a doctor ends the life of a baby while it is inside the mother. Tessie shared this with me at 8:00 at night. Right before bedtime. Without the background of knowing how babies are made, she had all sorts of questions, which I was not prepared to get into so late in the evening. To me, that student's question should have been answered with a simple, "That's something you can ask your parents when you get home." From some of the other tidbits that Tessie has shared with me about this teacher, I fear I am dealing with a lunatic! Help me!

Today, Tessie had another story for me. I'll file it under the category (and it's a large one) of "Now I've heard everything!" She was in gym class (or PE as they are instructed to call it) and the gym teacher was talking to them about changing into their gym clothes. Tessie shared that one student was a bit embarrassed to change in front of everyone because, as she told the gym teacher, she wears a thong. Tessie wondered what a thong was. And I wondered what 11 year old wears thong underwear??? Seriously?! I didn't even know they made those in children's sizes! Still shaking my head over that one. The teacher suggested if the student is uncomfortable, then she shouldn't wear them on gym days. (I say, of course she's uncomfortable! She's wearing thong underwear!!)

Shaking my head until the next thing...

Plans don't always go as planned

The end of the school year always seems to bring such busyness with it. Last minute notices about end of the year festivities, planning for summer camps, and my son's birthday. I thought I was doing pretty well managing everything. I was busy, but we were making it through and not missing anything. My calendar hangs on the wall across from my kitchen table where I can see it with just a glance up from the computer.

As sometimes happens, I got thrown a curve ball this year. Last week of school. I had planned to finish up a few last minute birthday preparations for my son and relax as much as possible before school lets out - maybe even go to the pool and read! I was so excited! Then came Monday night.

In the evening, we attended a meeting for my daughter's play and once at home, we were snuggling on the couch before bedtime. I looked at my son and wondered why his cheeks were so pink. Felt his head - he was burning up. 102 degree fever. Tuesday was to be my only day without anything to do this week. Now it would be spent taking care of my sick son. He's had these fevers before and they are usually gone overnight. This fever was not like that. Tuesday he spent just about all day laying on the couch and missed meeting his 1st grade teacher for next year. Tuesday night, fever was around 100. Maybe he was getting better. Nope. He woke up with a fever of 102 again. My wonderful husband saw the state I was in and offered to stay home to help me out with him so I could go out and run the errands I needed to run. Three hours out of the house! YAY! That night, son's fever was up to 103. Hubby took him to the doctor who said he has a virus. Good news, but not. There's no magic cure for this.

Today, instead of having fun at Field Day and celebrating his birthday at school, he's home with me. I hung up our usual birthday decorations and got him a balloon, my daughter put a candle in his breakfast pancake, and we took some silly pictures on my phone. He's still a little warm, but feeling much better as evidenced by how extremely active he's being. (I guess he's got 2 days of activity to make up for.) Being that it's his birthday and he's home, he's wanting to open presents, wanting to know how many presents he will be getting, just when can he open his presents? Can he open some now? Can he open some when his sister gets home? Does he have to wait for Daddy to get home to open them all? So, I barricaded myself in the bedroom to wrap. It was then I discovered that the only non-girly wrapping paper we have is Christmas wrapping paper (cheap wrapping paper that rips when you put the tape on it). OK, Merry Christmas! We're playing a game where I tell him the first letter of a few dollar store gifts I got him. Made cupcakes (which will later be topped with orange colored frosting) and there's an hour until his sister gets home from school. My will is fading... I'm an desperate mom who keeps trying to distract him with TV.

Tomorrow morning is daughter's 5th grade promotion ceremony and school gets out 2 hours early. And that is the end of my "freedom" for the summer. In the grand scheme of things, these complaints are really nothing. Which is why I'm recording them - so that I can remember what my "problems" once were. My husband has a job, we have a roof over our heads, we are all usually very healthy.

I was reminded and encouraged during my devotions this morning that "We may not know what the future holds, but we can trust the One who holds the future." James 4:13-15 offers this wisdom: “Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit’; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. . . . Instead you ought to say, ‘If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.’ ” I'll try to remember that and take life one day at a time while trusting the One who knows all my tomorrows and is there with me every step of the way.

What my husband fell asleep watching...

My husband (not a "night person") notoriously falls asleep each evening shortly after having put one of our children to bed and turning on the TV. I sit at the computer, usually on Facebook. But I am subject to whatever channel he stops on before dozing off. I thought it would be fun to keep track of all the weird shows.

Monday 9/14: History International - some show about vampires (is the History channel trying to latch on to the current vampire "craze" sweeping through pop culture?

Tuesday 9/15: History International again - not quite as bad as last night's show - the topic of the evening is the history of Fort Knox and then items that were contained within.

OK, it's been a while. Good one tonight 10/09: C-SPAN airing THE MOST BORING interview with Justice Sandra Day O'Connor. Both the interviewer and the Justice are completely uninteresting...

This Tops Everything!

School Picture Day: I had A's outfit all set out, with a headband to match. She said the headband hurt her head, so I told her to bring it with her and try to wear it at picture time. When she came home, I asked her how pictures went. "Good." I asked, "Did you wear your headband?" She answered, "No, my tiara." It took me about 10 times of asking her to really believe that, yes, indeed, she had brought her Halloween tiara to school and worn it for her school picture!

So, the question is - do we keep the picture? Or go for retakes? I think, regardless, though, that the tiara picture will be the one in the school group photo. Oh, this daughter of mine...

Back to School

A went back to school yesterday. The house was so much quieter without the kids teasing each other and fighting over toys and TV. AP is much calmer without A, and though he misses her and asks for her during the day, it's nice to have the one-on-one time back with him. I'm hoping to find some activities we can do together this fall.

Already at the bus stop this morning it was 50 degrees! While I am glad that school is back in session, I dread Winter's imminent arrival. If it is as bad as last year's, I don't know what I'll do! Hopefully this cold spell is a fluke and we'll still have a decent Fall.

Baby Socks

Once I marveled at the cuteness of itty-bitty baby socks. Lace, bows, pretty pastels. Matched up with adorable outfits. Sometimes shoes, sometimes not.

Now, 7 years later, those socks are relegated to the feet of my daughter's "children" and they are always everywhere! All over the house, and of course never together. How I hate those itty-bitty baby socks!

Soon it will be fall and in addition to the baby socks, I will find my kids' own socks all over the house, and intermingled with the baby socks. Struggling to find a matching pair.

The Choice to Give Choices

OK, I'm diving right into this blog with something that I've been thinking about for a while. So here goes.

Seven years ago, my husband and I had our first child, a daughter. Since we were both readers, and obviously new to the whole parenting thing, we read just about everything we could on the subject. If you're a mom, you know that "they" tell you that as your child enters the toddler years, to start giving them small choices so that they feel they have control over something. Sounded good to us, so that's what we did. Small choices between two items such as: which shirt would you like to wear today? or which sippy cup would you like to use?

Flash forward several years and we began to notice that our dear daughter now considered her opinion equal to ours in every area. Where would we go for dinner? What should we do for vacation? What car should we buy? There was no end to the things she would voice her thoughts on. We would always listen to her, but tell her that ultimately, the decision belonged to us, as the adults. But that never stopped her from trying to persuade and cajole us to see all things her way.

Last night, while trying to buy her sneakers for back to school, I'd finally had enough! We had chosen a pair of shoes on-line and went to the store to try them on for size and purchase them. Except, once we got to the store, she found several other styles she wanted instead. More expensive styles. I'll skip the gory details, and say that forty-five minutes later, I drove us home empty-handed and frustrated. (Can someone please tell me why it's necessary for there to be 50 different styles of sneakers for kids? Curse you, Skechers!) So, I changed my approach today and went out alone and brought home 3 pairs of shoes in her size. Mom's "store" at which she can shop for her back to school sneakers.

While I don't want to stifle my child's thoughts and opinions they way mine were as a child, I'm sincerely reconsidering the whole "small choices" advice. As I thought more about it, I came to see that, to me, the choices I gave her at age 2 or 3 were small and insignificant ones. But to her, those things were her world. She embraced her freedom to voice her opinion, and now tries to steamroll us with it. And now when things don't go her way, I've got to deal with the moping and emotional outbursts I thought I would be free from until puberty.

I admit it's quite possible that my daughter is simply an exception. After all, she has been speaking in sentences since about age 18 months, and people often comment on her adult-like vocabulary. We've often said she is well on her way to being a top sales person in any field she chooses. But we aren't taking any chances with her brother. He has just recently entered the stage where those "experts" suggest we start offering him those choices. This time around, we'll be a little more aware, a little more discerning. And take my mom's advice. Don't give him so many choices!